Parenting Help

New to the parenthood thing? Or just have a few questions? Here are some links to websites that specialize in various areas of child rearing. If you know of a website that you have found helpful, let the webmaster know!

In addition to the links below, our club also has three groups that meet before the main membership meeting each month. Their purpose is to focus on the needs of mothers with children of certain ages. Stork is for women who are pregnant with multiples and for mothers of multiples under one year of age. T.O.T.s (Training our Toddlers) is for mothers of multiples aged one to three years. SAMs (School-aged Multiples) is for mothers of children that are in school. These groups are discussion-based, and led by an experienced mom from the club. Sometimes there are speakers as well as group discussion.

Helpful Info and Links

WebMD Symptom Checker - Check your symptoms out to help you determine what's going on.

Support for a grieving friend - Do you have a friend that has suffered the unthinkable loss of a child? Many of us are at a loss when it comes to knowing how to support that mom. Here are some thoughts from a grieving mother on the loss of her child.

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration - (NHTSA) Safety information on traveling with your young ones. Info on buying and installing a car seat, safety seat recalls, and a locator system for Safety Seat checks.

Car Safety - If you are wondering Why should my child ride rear-facing? Why should I use a five-point harness? Why shouldn't I use a shield booster? or any of the many other "why's" of safely transporting children in cars, please browse around and find the information you need. And when you're done...pass it along!

Child Product Recalls - Recalled toys, furniture, clothing, strollers, car seats, etc.

Parenting Humor:

A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son walking to school. He didn't want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn't notice her. She said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well, so she agreed.

The next school day, the neighbor and her little girl set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another neighbor girl he knew. She did this for the whole week. As the two walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, Timmy's little friend noticed the same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week. Finally she said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us to school all week? Do you know her?" Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yeah, I know who she is." The little girl said, "Well, who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest," Timmy replied," and her daughter Marcy." "Shirley Goodnest? Who is she and why is she following us?" "Well," Timmy explained, "every night my Mom makes me say the 23rd Psalm with my prayers, 'cuz she worries about me so much. And in the Psalm, it says, 'Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life', so I guess I'll just have to get used to it!"

WHY I LOVE MOM

Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, 'I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed'

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning. She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.'

'I'm on my way,' she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed.'

And he did.

A newborn's conversation with God:

A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'but tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'
'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN AND
"KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!! !!

I OWE MY MOTHER

v My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

v My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

v My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

v My mother taught me LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why."

v My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

v My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

v My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

v My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

v My mother taught me about STAMINA. "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

v My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if a tornado hit it."

v My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told you a thousand times - don't exaggerate!"

v My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

v My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like your father!"

v My mother taught me about ENVY. "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

v My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get home."

v My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when you get home!"

v My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

v My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

v My mother taught me HUMOR. "If you fall out of that swing and break your legs, don’t come running to me."

v My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

v My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."

v My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

v My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

v And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

The "Cost" of Raising Children

The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 to be $160,140 for a middle income family.
Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. Think about raising multiples!

But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:

* $8,896.66 a year, or

* $741.38 a month, or

* $171.08 a week.

* That's a mere $24.24 a day!

* Just over a dollar an hour.

Still, you might think the best financial advice is "if you want to be 'rich', don't have children. Actually, it is just the opposite.

What do you get for your $160,140?
* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day

For $160,140, you never have to grow up.
You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading "The Adventures of Piglet and Pooh" ,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies,
* wish upon a star.

You also get to:
* frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets,
* collect: spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas,
* hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day,
* cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For $160,140, there is no bigger bang for your buck.

You get to be a hero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream regardless.

You get a front row seat to history to witness history:
* her first step,
* his first word,
* her first bra,
* his first date, and
* their first time behind the wheel.

You get to be immortal.
You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs called grandchildren and great grandchildren in your obituary

You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.

In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God.
You have the power to:
* heal a boo-boo,
* scare away the monsters under the bed,
* patch a broken heart,
* police a slumber party,
* ground them forever, and
* love them without limits...so that one day they, like you, will love without counting the cost.

That is quite a deal for the price!

THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
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Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby : You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
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The Layette :

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
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Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
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Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
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Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

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Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
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Going Out:
<B! R1s t baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
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At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!

Why God made Moms—Answers given by 2nd grade school children

Why did God make mothers?
1.   She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2.   Mostly to clean the house.
3.   To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mom?
1.   We're related
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?
1   My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2.   I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy
3.   They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1.   My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2.   She got too old to do anything else with him.
3.   My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1.   Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2    Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3.   I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2.   Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3.   Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4.   Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1.   She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2.   I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

The First Parent, by Bill Cosby

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?", Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?"

"It's over there," said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is reassurance in this story.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her *husband*!"

"Have you ever noticed how many more twins are born than ever before?
I think children are getting afraid of coming into this world alone."

You know you're having a bad day when your twin sister forgets your birthday!

It's a New "Survivor" Show
6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van a set of 4 year old twins and an infant, for 6 weeks The twins each play two sports and either takes music or dance classes. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids, keep his assigned house clean, oversee all homework, complete science projects, cook meals, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. The men only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. There is only one TV between them and there is no remote. There are only the basic channels. The men must shave their legs and wear makeup daily, which they must apply themselves either while driving or while preparing a healthy breakfast for all three children. They must attend weekly PTA meetings; clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m; make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas. The kids vote them off based on performance. The winner gets to go back to his job.

Naming the Twins
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you."

The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?"

Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."

The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?"

The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

A couple desperate to have a baby went to their priest and asked him to pray for them.
"Next week I am going to Rome and while I am there I will light a candle for you," he replied.

Three years later the priest returned to his parish and went to the young couple's house to visit. He found the wife to be pregnant and busy attending to two sets of twins. The priest felt very elated and asked the girl where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He has gone away for a while," came the harried reply.

"Where has he gone?" asked the priest.

She replied," To Rome, to blow out the candle!"

Twin boys are put up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt who name him Ahmal. The other twin is adopted by a family in Spain; he's named Juan. Years pass, and Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. "Oh, I really wish I had a photo of Ahmal too," the woman says. "They're twins," her sister reminds her. "If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

A Quick At-Home Test for Hearing Excerpted from Reader's Digest
Hearing impairment is one of the most common birth defects in America today. Approximately three in 1,000 children are born deaf or hearing-impaired. Equally disturbing are the number of misdiagnoses of the condition. Even children with severe hearing loss can go undetected, as they may hear loud sounds. Vibration or motion - like that of a moving hand in a bell-ringing test - may also cause hearing-impaired infants to react. As a result of misdiagnosis, many children muddle along until hearing screenings are given at school. They don't know they have a problem, and their symptoms may be misinterpreted. The longer the delay in diagnosing the problem, the more trouble the child has developing language and social skills. Early detection and treatment are crucial to language development. Testing is noninvasive and relatively inexpensive. If you are expecting, ask whether your hospital offers newborn screening. If it doesn't, find out where the tests are available and have your baby screened as soon as possible. You can check your child's development against this time-line. If you answer "no" to any of these questions, consider having your baby's hearing tested.
Birth - 3 months Quiets or curtails activity when someone approaches and speaks Is startled by loud sounds (blinks, body jerks, cries)	3 - 6 months Turns head to search for the source of a voice Enjoys rattles, noise-making toys Reacts to familiar sounds at feeding time - bottles rattling, spoon in dish, etc.
6 - 10 months Babbles (sounds like da, ba, ma) Reacts to music by cooing Responds to own name Looks to right person at the words "Mommy" and "Daddy" Understands common words such as "no," "all gone," "bye"	10 - 15 months Knows names of favorite toys and can point to them when asked Likes rhymes and jingles Imitates simple words and sounds
15 - 20 months Can follow simple directions Recognizes hair, nose, eyes and other parts of the body when named Asks for familiar objects by name: "blanket," "cookie," "teddy bear"	20 - 24 months Begins combining words such as "More juice" or "Mommy home" Refers to self by name Enjoys being read to Shows interest in radio and TV
24 - 36 months Vocabulary - at 24 months - of about 270 words, which increases each day Expresses needs, interests and experiences	36 months Vocabulary of 1000 words, 80% of which should be intelligible to strangers